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Subject: ??its a mystery??
Replies: 43 Views: 2270
nayla83 12.10.09 - 10:44am
ok guys i u lyk suspense n thrillers u will love this im going to try n write a short story using all u guyz as the chracters im not sure if itz going to work bt letz try.... if u dnt wnt 2 b part of it jus let me knw ill b posting the story a little at a tym n itz all fiction tell me wot u think 
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alikhan7 12.10.09 - 12:00pm
If i get to be Sherlock Holmes then i am in. *
brmirza 12.10.09 - 12:11pm
yeah sure it'll be an interesting story neel... hoping we all shall enjoy it... *
brmirza 12.10.09 - 12:52pm
per yar koi acha sa role dna :-D *
nayla83 12.10.09 - 01:50pm
ok gr8 1st part will b posted 2nyt watch this space *
lyn803 12.10.09 - 07:15pm
That sounds great sis :), I love suspense and thrillers, seems we will be solving a mysterious case here 
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nayla83 12.10.09 - 11:00pm
I felt 2 hands around my neck. I clawed at them so i could breathe, but i failed. The room went black. When i woke up my wife Lyn was shaking me 'wake up Basharat yur going 2 b late for work'. I sat up clutching my neck. 'Lyn sum1 tried 2 choke me' Lyn stared at me for a second 'no1 wad trying 2 choke u. All i saw was u tossing & turning in bed' i looked at lyn confused 'maybe it was a dream'.
I got out of bed and got ready for work. I owned my own billion dollor company that manufactured cars. My office was a huge room with a big floor 2 ceiling window. My desk was in front of the big glass window it had a great view of the city below.
I arrived at the office late and walked ito the lobby i was usually late to work i got in the elevator and pressed the b*tton for the 9th floor. When i got to my desk i turned on my computer leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes. When i was just about to fall asleep i heard my office door open, i opened my eyes to a man running towards me he wore a leather jacket, blue jeans n had piercing blue eyes. He jumped ove the desk and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, then he threw me out the big glass window.... *
nayla83 12.10.09 - 11:05pm
thtz the first part of my story guyz... will basharat survive the fall frm the 9th floor window?.... who was the guy tht pushed him?... n y? *
fiaz 13.10.09 - 08:27am
UUUHHHH neel ah wana b part ov da story 
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alikhan7 13.10.09 - 09:17am
nice 1st part nyla.i really dun wana blow up the suspence but i can guess who was he and why he did it.:-)cheers! *
lyn803 13.10.09 - 05:31pm
sis u wrote so well and the 1st part of the story is nice :-) but I nver expect Sharay will be thrown out from the 9th floor window. Anyways I believe he can survive. The mystery is whose that blue eyed guy who pushed him? *
nayla83 13.10.09 - 10:31pm
I woke up in hospital to see my wife lyn and a doctor talking what happned i asked. Lyn walked overto the bed basharat you passed out on the sidewalk on the way to work
no lyn a man threw me out of a window i fell 9 stories and hit the sidewalk.
Lyn looked at doctor Ali it must be the morphine talking explained doctor Ali come lets leave him to rest . DR Ali and lyn walked oud of the room and closed the door behind them.
I slept about 6 hours, then i woke up, it was about 12.00 n my throat was dry. I got out of bed, my bare feet touched the cold tiled floor. I went out into the hall and got a drink of water. It was completely silent except for the sound of my breathing. Just as i was coming back i saw a light go on and the door opened.... *
nayla83 13.10.09 - 10:53pm
A surgeon with a mask over his nose and mouth walked out he had piercing blue eyes and wore a white doctors coat and turquoise gloves, he stood in the door way. 'mr basharat you're late for the surgery' he said. 'i was never told of a surgery' i told him. 'oh mr basharat you probably don't remember because you've been blacking out for the past 2 days'. 'But i just woke up earlier today'. 'Oh my the blackouts are getting worse, now your blacking out for days. mr basharat i need to take an x-ray of your brain so i can se why yon are blacking out'. 'Ok' i walked into the surgery room. it was a big room with 2 big silver sinks and a big silver table. I laid down on the cold silver surgery table. The surgeon walked in and shut the door he turned on another light that shone right over my body. 'Mr basharat im going to give you something to make you sleep'. He gave me a shot in my arm 'close your eyes mr basharat' he said in a very calm voice 'you wont feel a thing'. I closed my eyes.... *
nayla83 13.10.09 - 10:58pm
thtz the next part guyz.... did basharat really fall 9 stories or was it just another dream? ....whoz the surgeon?.... *
nayla83 15.10.09 - 11:46pm
I woke up in my hospital bed, and searched my body for any scars or anything. What i found was a scar down the center of my chest and stomach i reached over and pressed the red b*tton to call the nurse. 'yes basharat what do you need' she said with a smile. 'What did the doctor do to me in surgery' i asked. ' you never had surgery' she said staring at me with a puzzled look 'but i have a scar' i lifted up my shirt. 'see' the nurse looked at me 'i don't see anything basharat' she said in a concerned voice. She gave me a strange look and walked out. 10mins later a man in a sweater walked in he closed the door n lookedat me. I sat up i concern he had those same piercing blue eyes. He sat down and pulled out a note pad and pen. 'Hello basharat i am doctor waleed the hospital psychologist. 'They sent me to help you' he said in a calm voice. 'i don't need help im perfectly sane' 'calm down basharat im just doing my job noone said your insane' DR waleed explained in a cool calm voice. I glared at him he looked like the surgeon and the man who pushed me out the window.... *
nayla83 15.10.09 - 11:50pm
did basharat have surgery? ...is he insane? ...is any of it real???? *
nayla83 17.10.09 - 12:42am
I just couldnt be 100 % sure the man who pushed me was running towards me so i didnt get a good look at his face. The surgeon had a surgical mask on, so i could only see his eyez. 'Now what happned to get u into the hospital' DR waleed asked. ' Im in here because a man pushed me out of the window'. 'But basharat you never fell out the window you passed out on the side walk'.
I got out of the bed and stood against the wall 'im not telling you anything' i exclaimed 'you're the one who's trying to kill me'. DR waleed got up from his chair and left the room. Once he left i slammed the door shut and pushed the bed in front of it. I backed up to the far end of the room and watched as the handle began to shake. 'mr basharat i want to help you the voice from behinde the door said. All of a sudden the bed slid away the door swung open. 2 doctors ran at me and held my arms 'hold him still' DR waleed walked in with a strait jacket he put it on me and tightened the strap then the 2 men dragged me outside and threw me in the back of an ambulance. They shut the doors and it went pitch black, i leaned up against the wall and fell asleep.... *
mehdi29 19.10.09 - 12:03pm
Hello sis! How are you? Sis u r great writer! Its seems real story! Wat happend next??? *
nayla83 20.10.09 - 12:34am
The van came to a sudden stop and the doors opened. A ray of light pierced the darkness and blinded me. I was pulled out of the van to see a white building it was falling apart, there where a few windows and the white paint was chipping off the bricks. I got pushed backwards into a wheelchair they rolled me through 2 double doors. We stopped at the check in desk 'checking in or picking up?' the women said without looking up. 'Checking in' said the man from behind me. 'Whats his name?' she asked 'basharat' the other man said. height? the man hesitated 5ft9 he said in an unsure voice. 'how much does he weigh?' they looked at me 'i weigh 160' i said looking at my shoes. 'Unbuckle the straight jacket' she ordered. One of the men pulled me up by my coller until i was standing then he unbuckled my sleeves my arms fell to my side. Sign this at the bottom she ordered. I looked at the document before i signed it, it had everything about me in it. When i was born date & time. It was almost as if they knew i was coming. They took off my jacket and shoved me into a room i tripped n hit the cold hard concrete floor. T walls where painted gray and there was a metal bed with an old mattress pushed against a wall, there was a metal toilet in the corner and no windows. The door was slammed shut the room went black. i found my way to the bed lay down n went 2 sleep... *
provoker 20.10.09 - 06:05am
Place me also somewhere in this story it seems intresting
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brmirza 20.10.09 - 05:15pm
neel, i weigh 140 :-)
n provoker, u'll be added too, just wait.everybody is involved in it...the gr8 writer, novelist nayla, exclaims so :-) *
nayla83 20.10.09 - 10:18pm
well prince u need 2 add another 20 for this role eat a few more parathas ok 
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nayla83 20.10.09 - 10:19pm
provoker ill get u in this story jus keep reading ;-) *
nayla83 20.10.09 - 10:38pm
I woke up in the middle of the well i thought it was i sat in the dark and thought of everything that got me here. Who was that man trying to kill me? why me? what did i do?. I sat on my bed until morning. A metal hatch at the bottom of the door slid open and a tray slid through. I approached the tray and looked at wot must be my breakfast oatmeal and toast. I put a spoonfull of oatmeal in my mouth it made me gag i spit it out and reached for some water i drank the whole thing before i noticed it tasted like medicine. 'Mr basharat' a voice echoed in my head. 'mr basharat wake up' he said shaking me. I took a second to locate where the voice was coming from. Then i opened my eyes and sat up and punched him in the face before i could get another hit 2 men came in and restrained me. Dr waleed got to his feet while holding his nose 'take him to the basemant' Dr waleed said in pain.... *
provoker 21.10.09 - 08:51am
Basharat Boxer *
brmirza 21.10.09 - 10:30am
this all credit goes to the novelist, makin me an insane boxer :-D *
alikhan7 21.10.09 - 11:40am
i m imagening him with red boxer shorts with gloves and b*mp on his face with a blue eye!.such a sight! *
brmirza 21.10.09 - 04:26pm
hahaha. yar Basharat has punched the person who kidnapped him n called his name, then this b*mp n blue eye belongs to that guy, not Basharat :-D
BTW nice imagining power :-) *
nayla83 21.10.09 - 11:44pm
The 2 men dragged me down the narrow stairs and through the hallway that opened up into a big room with a table in the middle and drawers lining the wall and to the side of the table was an odd looking machine. They laid me down on the table one of them held me down the other secured my ankles with leather straps then they put another across my chest n legs. 'open your mouth mr basharat' said a familiar voice she walked round it was lyn my wife she was wearing a nurses uniform. i opened my mouth to speak but before the words came out she placed a mouth gaurd in my mouth. Then she placed a metal head piece on me that covered my forehead, it felt a little wet. Dr waleed walked in 'mr basharat i need you 2 bite down, if you do that we wont hurt you' so i bit down on the mouth gaurd 'this will teach you' Dr waleed nodded at lyn 'nurse pull the switch' he said. a surge of electricity flowed through my body, i began to shake. 'ok turn it off' my body stopped shaking. 'mr basharat u just went through shock therapy not as punishment but as a tool to reprogram your brain so u can leave this place sooner' DR waleed explained soon after he finished talking i passed out *
alikhan7 22.10.09 - 04:27am
Mr Basharat be prepaid for next couple of days ur life is full of torture and torments.so i suggest that u hire a real gud doc cus u'll need alot of REPAIRING afterwards. *
lyn803 23.10.09 - 08:42pm
If Dr. Waleed is really a good doctor, then he should hv tried putting on that metal piece first on his head to test how effective the shock therapy was. No wonder why sick ppl becomes more insane when admitted in mental asylum, bcoz of ths so called therapy. *
lyn803 23.10.09 - 08:45pm
I think the coming days will be more thrilling n more suspence, but Im sure Basharat cn survive all ths worst nightmare. I see he has now become a boxer eh 
, I'll be watching ths space for the next episodes :) *
nayla83 24.10.09 - 12:47am
I struggled to move my arms in my sleep but they would not move. I opened my eyes to see darkness they had put me in a straight jacket. i got to my feet and noticed that i was in a padded room. I walked straight until i came to a wall, i followed the wall to see if i could feel any type of door, but there was nothing. I laid back down on the padded floor and thought of everything tht had happned to me, the man with the blue eyes, who was he? n my wife lyn why was she helping them?.All of a sudden A door opened, i looked over at the opening and saw the silhouette of a man. 'Come with me' he said walking over to me helping me stand up he walked me into a neighboring room. He sat me down on a couch and loosened the straps. He sat down in an arm chair. 'Im Dr provoker how r u today?' 'im fine' i said looking at the floor. 'Basharat, can you tell me everything that happned that led u here?' he said in a calm voice. i stared at the floor not wanting to answer. 'if you don't wnt to answer me we might have to go back to shock threapy' he said in an annoyed voice. *
nayla83 26.10.09 - 12:11am
i stared at the floor for a couple of secs 'it all started when i felt someone chocking me.' He scribbled something on his clipboard. 'Then when i was in my office a man in a leather jacket with piercing blue eyes walked in and threw me out of a window, i fell 9 stories and hit the sidewalk.' But basharat, the hospital said you passed out on your way to work.' 'They're wrong!'. i said angrily 'i got thrown out of the window, i know what happened.' 'They are profffessionals they know how to diagnose you, if you fell from that height your back would be broken and you would probably be paralyzed. Why would they lie to you?' he explained 'i dnt know' i admitted 'i think they are all lying to me they are all in on it' i yelled. 'in on what?' he asked curiously while scribbling on his clipboard. 'Dr waleed hes trying to kill me and you are all helping him even my wife lyn'. I explained 'Ok, you think Dr waleed is trying to kill you?' He asked. 'YES!!!' i screamed. 'ok, calm down, what else happned to you?' 'well i woke up in the middle of the night anda surgeon said i needed an x-ray to find out why i was blacking out.' Dr provoker nodded to go on. 'so i went with him. then i woke up in my hospital bed and i found a scar down my chest' i said squirmig to get comfy in my restraints. 'can you take these off me please?' i begged. 'No i can not, can you continue?' Why not?' 'Beacause you attacked Dr waleed for no reason. we cnt have that happen again, you broke his nose.' he explained .'now continue' 'ok, then i asked the nurse if i had a surgery and she said no, i showed her my scar she claime not to see it but i think she was lying. 'And' he said in curiosity. 'then the hospita sent Dr waleed to talk to me and he sent me here.' Dr provoker looked at his notes 'So Dr waleed is out to kill you?' 'you dnt believe me do you?' i questioned 'you think im crazy' 'No i dnt thnk your crazy. have you noticed that every time something happned to you, either you where sleeping... *
nayla83 26.10.09 - 12:15am
...or just woke up. is it possible you where tired and imagining things. None of that happened it is all just a figment of your imagination.' Dr provoker explained. It made sense what he was saying, but i know it wasnt my imagination *
nayla83 27.10.09 - 11:07pm
'itz not my imagination i have the scares t prove it'. I got to my feet and rammed dr provoket into the wall, i jolted for the half open door, once i was out of the room i turned to the right and ran down the narrow hall heading for the double doors. two men stepped in front of me and grabed me. They tightened my straight jacket and dragged me down the hall back to my special room. They threw me face first into the room. Thet shut the door and the room went dark. i laid there for a second then i rolled over and sat up, i got up felt my way to a corner of the room. i sat in the corner and fell asleep.
The door opened a man came in 'mr basharat' he said while he checked my pulse. Then he walked out of the room leaving the door open behind him. He walked over to Dr provokers office 'doctor mr basharat died last night.... *
nayla83 28.10.09 - 11:56pm
Dr provoker stood there for a second 'contact his Doctor Dr waleed n his carer nurse lyn and bring him to the autopsy room' he ordered. One man grabbed my ankles and the other my arms they picked me up. I was put on the silver autopsy table the 2 men walked out. Dr provoker walked in 'take the straight jacket off he said to nurse lyn. She removed the jacket n threw it in the corner of the room. She stared at me with a puzzled look 'Doctor he has black and blue marks on his neck' Dr provoker stepped closer to me and put his hands around my neck 'someone chocked him' 'is tht how he died' lyn asked 'NO' if someone choked him to death there would be no bruising. If not chocking then what else dr provoker questioned himelf. 'lyn get the psycologist Dr Waleed maybe he can explain he talked 2 basharat a few times'. A couple of minz later dr waleed walked in. 'what did basharat talk to you about' 'he kept saying someone was trying to kill him' 'did he mention how? or why?' 'well he claimed someone chocked him wen he was sleeping' explained dr waleed. 'well look at this' said dr provoker pointing at the bruising. 'did he chocke himself asked dr waleed. 'he was restrained' said dr provoker. 'what else did he say happned to him'. 'he said he was thrown out of a window 9 stories high'. 'lyn take off basharats shirt and turn him round so we can see his back.' Dr provoker examined my back 'its broken in 3 places.' 'it wasnt like that when he got here that would have paralised him' dr provoker explained. 'And he could walk fine yesterday'. 'turn him onto his back again he also claimed to hav a scar on his chest'. 'He has got a scar on his chest all the way down'. Everything that he said happned to him we should have believed him' well you didnt know no one did he didnt get those scars until now.
was i crazy and someone did that to me over night or where all these people responsible for my death ill leave that for you do decide. *
nayla83 28.10.09 - 11:58pm
thtz the end guyz hope you enjoyed it *
brmirza 29.10.09 - 02:02am
chalo g, sb uth k Mr.Basharat ka janaza parho, ar us k lye dua-e-magfirat kro :-D :-D *
alikhan7 29.10.09 - 03:07am
nyla sis i am REALLY REALLY SORRY I REALLY AM but that was cr*p. *
lyn803 29.10.09 - 10:10am
OMG! I cant believe Mr. Basharat died in the story. How could he narrated eveything that happened to him if he died in the end?, how did he know all tht happened in the autopsy room like who grabbed his ankle and arms? He cant be dead. I believe Mr Basharat is still alive or all that happened was jst probably a horrible nightmare n it all started from that early morning he woke up,,he felt like he's awaken from a nightmare but the truth is he's stl sleeping..the whole incident might hv likely happened in few days but when we are dreaming an hour can be like centuries or even a few minutes can be like years. Many conclusions may arise here,,but this is just my opinion.
Anyway sis I appreciate your effort of writing this story for all of us...for me you did great 
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nayla83 29.10.09 - 12:30pm
No no ali bhai plz dnt b sry it jus goes 2 show im nt going 2 b a writer better stick 2 designing lol... Thx 4 reading the cr*p *
provoker 30.10.09 - 06:30am
I think it was good beause i feel it ok *
lyn803 31.10.09 - 10:36am
But for me I dont think your writing is a cr*p sis. As long as you exerted effort in whatever u do, especially for the sake of your friends..its always regarded as valuable. :) *
